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13 August, 2009


Writing a blog that isn't just a personal venue, like Livejournal, is new to me. Normally, I wouldn't sign up to produce interesting content on a single topic for the indefinite future. Why would I think that I can hold the interest of a random internet surfer - and why would I want to try?

It's mostly because of her: RosePhase, a blogger whose posts have amused, alarmed and engaged me in the past. She writes about living a non-monogamous lifestyle - the benefits, the drawbacks, and of course the comments from the monogamous peanut gallery. She'd gone on hiatus for some time, but after reading the comments on an interview with Jenny Block, a woman who's published a memoir about her open marriage, she kicked herself into gear again and started writing. You can probably imagine the tone of those comments: "[T]that has caused me to get back to making sure my voice is out there," she writes. "Even if it is small, and selfish, and wrong in other people’s eyes, because the more voices the better."

This may be a tiny corner of the internet, but if so much as one person stumbles across this page and thinks, "That's what I've been feeling!" or "You mean you can do that?", I'll sleep better for it. That's my goal: to increase the visibility of non-monogamous lifestyles, one post at a time. At the very end of that interview with Jenny Block, Jenny said something that stood out to me:

AOL Health: Your book is very personal and reveals intimate details about your past and current relationships. Why did you decide to write about this topic on such a personal level?

Jenny: I felt so alone when I started this exploration. I felt really like there was no model. There was no voice, no one who looked familiar to me. I just had to.

I know what she means. Monogamy was never really a sticking point for me, as I'll write in more detail later, but it's strange and alienating to walk through a world of people who don't even understand how the way one lives is possible. I wandered pretty far from the fold before I figured myself out and got on track. I'd like this page to be a place where people who are still searching can find a model, or at least find some answers. In the end, I want my kids to grow up in a world where monogamy isn't a default setting.


For more poly media online, observe:

Poly In The Media, a blog that tracks and comments on treatments of polyamory in news media

Loving More, the "old hippies in the woods" branch of polyamory

"Polyamory? What, like two girlfriends?", where Franklin Veaux addresses the younger, kinkier side of polyamory with admirable insight and comprehensiveness

Philosophy of Non-Monogamy, a belligerent, opinionated, intelligent woman who knows herself and is peering into the rest of the world

The (frequently immature or dramatic but often compassionate and always entertaining) Polyamory LiveJournal Community, where you'll see some of the best and worst of poly

If you or someone you know produces a similar online resource, let me know and we can exchange links!


For the record: yes, I know that polyamory is wrong. The word includes mixed Greek and Latin roots. Please ... find it in your hearts to forgive me.

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